My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
