We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How does one acquire holy water?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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