you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
