How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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