apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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