Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
