I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
