Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
