I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
