16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
