But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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