dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
