She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
