Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize