I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize