I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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