How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
