If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How external is "for external use only"?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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