I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
