Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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