Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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