Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
