I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize