Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
