Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
