i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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