so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
