i permit you to call me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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