Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
