the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
