id be glad to
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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