HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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