please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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