i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
No stitches, just platelets and will power
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I enjoy the company of your penis
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize