I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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