My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
