It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
