Swine flu is the new snow day.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
