I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
