I didn't shave. On purpose
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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