just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Couch. On fire.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
