Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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