I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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