I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
bring money and cleavage
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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