she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
