sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
