If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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