yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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