You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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