She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
