In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
