i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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