So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
