meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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