it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
