I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I want her autograph on my taint
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i think my cat just said my name.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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