Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
