I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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