You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
