There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
