just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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