Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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