Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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