He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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